Don't look now, but things aren't real swell in American sports. More like red, white and boo.
We used to dominate. But what not long ago was Mike Tyson and Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong and Andre Agassi and Mike Modano has slowly deteriorated into a bunch of foreigners in first-place named Wladimir Klitschko and Justin Rose and Alberto Contador and Novak Djokovic and Alex Ovechkin.
Even Serena Williams - the most dominant athlete on the planet - couldn't lift the U.S. at Wimbledon, leaving America without a ladies' semifinalist on the grass for only the sixth time since 1968. We won't win the Tour de France. We didn't win the World Baseball Classic. We never sniff advancing in the World Cup. We're not even a lock to win next week's sailing of the America's Cup.
Of course, all is not lost. We still have the best player in football (Adrian Peterson), basketball (LeBron James) and one of the best in baseball (
Chris Davis, yes
that Chris Davis). And the July 4th Hot Dog Eating contest should be won by Joey Chestnut, but only - get this - because
Kobayashi is in a contract dispute with Major League Eating.
We may have to squint a little harder these days to see it, but there are still countless reasons to be proud of American sports. And on this - our country's 237th birthday - I urge you to spend part of your Fourth of July, between the burgers and bikinis, admiring and appreciating each unique candle on this homemade cake.
Here's hoping my list reminds you how friggin' fortunate we are to have a variety of sports, and the freedom to choose which ones we love and loathe.
Happy Birthday, America's sports! Celebrate with fireworks, and by feeling better about your games, your country and, yes, even yourself.
As usual, add to the list if you want. Or just pick and choose. Whatever.
It is, after all, a free country.
237. Johnny Football, with his Heisman and without his
Twitter.
236. Wiffle Ball in the back yard.
235. Labor peace.
234. Failure Jesus, working his magic on Tim Tebow.
233. The right to hate Tom Hicks and the responsibility
of remembering Chuck Greenberg.
232. Cowboys' Super Bowl expectations. Every single year.
231. Tiger Woods' rise. And fall. And almost rise again.
230. Ron Washington's relentless optimism.
229. Cowboys Stadium.
228. The New Orleans ... Pelicans?
227. Jordan Spieth's future and Dez Bryant's present.
226. The star on the helmet.
(continued from page 1)
225. Yankee pinstripes.
224. The 18th at Pebble Beach.
223. Dick Vitale, John Madden and, yes, even Brent
Musburger.
222. Marion Jones, before she lied.
221. Hail Mary and Touchdown Jesus.
220. The Ice Bowl, the Rose Bowl and the Beer 'n Bowl.
219. Game 7.
218. Cameron Crazies.
217. Stockton to Malone.
216. Rick Carlisle's set pieces.
215. Serena and Venus Williams.
214. Boston's Green Monster and Augusta's green jacket.
213. The 12th Man.
212. Brian's Song.
211. Spurrier's visor.
210. "H-O-R-S-E," "Hot Box" and
"Tackle the Man with the Football."
209. Happy Valley and March Madness.
208. Brad Stevens, from Butler to Boston.
207. The seventh-inning stretch and "Down the
stretch they come!"
206. Army-Navy.
205. Pauley Pavilion.
204. Caddyshack.
203. "Gentlemen, start your engines!" And you too, Danica.
202. Atlanta's Tomahawk Chop.
201. Vince Lombardi.
200. Don King, Gene Keady and Slick Watts.
199. Kobe in the clutch and Junior on the gas.
198. The Manning Family.
197. The Three J's, The Four Horsemen and The Fab Five.
196. "It ain't over 'til it's over."
195. Hawg hats, Fort Worth Cats and Minnesota Fats.
194. Mark Holtz' "Hello, Win Column!" Yes, still.
193. A two-putt birdie.
192. Wide Right and Student Body Left.
191. Britney Griner.
190. The smell of fresh-cut grass on Opening Day.
189. Slow-motion instant replays.
188. Chris Davis, former Texas Ranger.
187. Pizza delivered simultaneously with kickoff.
186. The hole in the roof so God can watch his favorite
team.
185. The Immaculate Reception.
184. No talking about a no-hitter.
183. Jimmy Connors at Flushing Meadows. At night.
182. Alligator arms, swim moves and The Shark. Kenny Gant, not Greg Norman.
181. Tom Dempsey's long field goal with a short foot.
180. The Silver Boot, the Iron Skillet and plain ol'
braggin' rights.
179. Underdogs.
178. Hansen, Hitzges and Galloway.
177. Grass.
176. Hat tricks via bicycle kicks.
(continued from page 2)
175. Jerry Jones.
174. NFL Films.
173. Bo Jackson.
172. Bobby Knight's sweaters. And trifecta bettors.
171. Sean Lee's tenacity.
170. Flo-Jo and Little Mo.
169. DirecTV's Sunday ticket, and especially the Red Zone Channel.
168. Two points, three-peats and four-baggers through
the five hole.
167. Robert Hughes.
166. Slap Shot.
165. Troy Aikman, Daryl Johnston and Deion Sanders on the other side of the camera.
164. John Wooden's program and Red Auerbach's cigar.
163. David Stern's final NBA Draft.
162. Taking your glove to the game.
161. Tatu. And tattoos.
160. "Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!"
159. Amen corner. And Death Valley.
158. Nike vs. Reebok.
157. No. 1 vs. No. 16.
156. "Boomer Sooner", "Rocky Top" and "wake up the
echoes."
155. One-handed 360.
154. Phil Jackson's Triangle and Dean Smith's four
corners.
153. Breathe Rights, eye black, mouthpieces and ear
holes.
152. The Great One and The Greatest.
151. Replacement refs, only temporarily.
150. Monday Night Football's old theme music.
149. "Havlicek stole the ball!"
148. A-Roid.
147. The Ring of Honor.
146. Between the hedges.
145. Shutting up Spike Lee.
144. Chris Berman.
143. The chills + a hangover + the day off = the Cotton
Bowl.
142. Two minutes for roughing.
141. Rick Reilly.
140. "The Friendly Confines." And Raiders fans.
139. The Zamboni.
138. Yankees-Red Sox.
137. "He could ... go ... all .. the ... way
..."
136. Joe Pa, circa 2010.
135. Tailgating.
134. The Downtown Athletic Club.
133. A blue parking pass.
132. Mel Kiper Jr.'s mock draft.
131. Jay-Z, sports agent.
130. Tim Duncan's bank shot.
129. Rick Barry's underhand free throw.
128. Goal-line stands and the Stanford band.
127. "Can I have your autograph?"
126. Dollar dog night at Rangers Ballpark.
(continued from page 3)
125. Brett Farve, retired.
124. Brad Sham and Eric Nadel.
123. Lambeau Field in January.
122. Sports talk radio.
121. Miami vs. Florida vs. Florida State.
120. "Steeeerriiiike Three!," "Let's play
two!" and "We're No. 1!"
119. Roger Staubach down 13 with 2:19 remaining.
118. Dropping the gloves. And catching big air.
117. Kareem's "Sky Hook."
116. "Coooold beeeeeer!!"
115. Robert Horry, Adam Vinatieri and Mariano Rivera,
when it really matters.
114. Bobblehead night.
113. The fair pole.
112. NASCAR sponsors.
111. Doomsday.
110. Your baseball cap in the dishwasher, a shoestring
around your glove.
109. Office pools.
108. Pistol Pete.
107. Day games.
106. "The Catch."
105. Duke vs. North Carolina.
104. "Hey, ump, you're missing a great game!"
103. North Dallas Forty.
102. Soccer moms.
101. Michael Johnson's golden shoes.
100. Bevo.
99. Shirts and skins.
98. The Iceman.
97. 17-0 in '72.
96. Winners, losers and, grudgingly, participation
plaques.
95. Yellow cards, yellow flags and the yellow first-down
line.
94. Gary Patterson.
93. 56 in a row.
92. "Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk!"
91. Mulligans.
90. "You Cannot Be Serious!"
89. Brenden Morrow's guts.
88. Stephen A. Smith, preferably in a muzzle.
87. The two-minute warning.
86. Emmitt Smith out the other end of the pile.
85. The Laker Girls.
84. Ryder Cup vs. Davis Cup vs. Stanley Cup.
83. "GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!"
82. Seeing your breath on a small-town Friday night in
December, population
314.
81. Floyd "Money" Mayweather.
80. Hack-a-Shaq.
79. Phi Slamma Jamma and Lorenzo Charles RIP.
78. 6-4-3.
77. Nebraska's I-back.
76. Montana to Rice.
(continued from page 4)
75. GEICO commercials.
74. "You are looking live ... !"
73. Joe Torre's stare, Steve Nash's hair and the Golden
Bear.
72. Sweetness.
71. Phyllis George and Erin Andrews.
70. And one!
69. Bull Durham.
68. "Pig-soooooiiiieee!"
67. Charlie Hustle. And Uncle Charlie.
66. The Aggie War Hymn vs. Texas Fight.
65. Cold dreary Sunday. Warm comfy couch. Big screen TV.
64. The Big Red Machine.
63. Christian Laettner's turnaround.
62. Neftali Feliz' 100-mph fastball. Anyone seen it lately?
61. Bounties.
60. The Curse of the Bambino.
59. The Swamp, The Pit and The Big House.
58. Cal Ripken Jr. and Dale Earnhardt Sr.
57. Evel Knievel.
56. Wilt's 100 points vs. Russell's 11 rings.
55. The Big Unit. And Lil' Penny.
54. Eight seconds. And Title IX.
53. Adrian Peterson, nine yards short of Eric Dickerson's rushing record.
52. Churchill Downs, first Saturday in May.
51. Madison Square Garden.
50. Mixed doubles, standup doubles and triple-doubles.
49. $1 billion stadiums.
48. Up-and-down from the beach.
47. Bear Bryant.
46. Sacramento's cowbells and Pittsburgh's Terrible
Towels.
45. Rocky, Rudy and Prefontaine.
44. Larry Legend.
43. Byron Nelson's legacy.
42. Sudden death.
41. Dr. J.
40. Mark Cuban's passion. And wallet.
39. Michael Jordan.
38. Strike zone, matchup zone and zone blitz.
37. Dirk Nowitzki or Paul Pierce?
36. Wrigley's ivy.
35. Showtime.
34. Sha-sheff-ski, spelled K-r-z-y-z-e-w-s-k-i.
33. The Babes. Ruth and Didrikson Zaharias. Sorry,
Laufenberg.
32. DeMarcus Ware and Jason Witten. On and off the field.
31. 73*.
30. The Fat Lady. And the skinny post.
29. Tony Romo's ad-libs.
28. Kyle Field.
27. Celtics banners.
26. Nolan Ryan.
(continued from page 5)
25. Nacho cheese on your chin. A smile on your lips.
24. Fresh batteries in the remote control.
23. Charles Barkley.
22. Jackson's "Whoa, Nellie!" and Enberg's
"Oh, my!"
21. The 7-10 split.
20. Crazy Ray, Zonk and inflatable Mavs Man.
19. Hope, in the form of Dwight Howard.
18. LeBron James, indeed The Chosen One.
17. ESPN SportsCenter.
16. Phil Mickelson's disposition.
15. Magic.
14. The checkered flag.
13. Pat Summerall, Chick Hearn and Vin Scully.
12. The bell, the buzzer, the horn, the gun and
especially the organ.
11. Jon "Bones" Jones, right in your kisser.
10. Tom Landry.
8. Hoosiers.
7. Sharing personal space with 20,000 really happy people
and high-fiving a guy
whose name you'll never know.
6. 31-year waits. Right, Mavs fans?
5. Josh Hamilton failing miserably in California.
4. "Do you believe in miracles? Yes!!"
3. Aaron Herndandez, Josh Brent and Lance Armstrong, each held accountable.
2. Our national anthem, before every single game.
1. The freedom to love America's Team, and to still hate the Redskins.
Nice...A list to appreciate, discuss and disagree with. But your point is dead on...to have the freedom to appreciate, discuss and even disagree with. Have a happy Independence Day, Richie and Sybil!
ReplyDeleteAmen.
DeleteAbsolutely!!! Despite problems in DC, we still got things to be proud of here. Like A-Rod watching strike 3 go by to send the Rangers to the World Series and Brett Hull's Stanley Cup winning "no-goal". Good stuff Richie
ReplyDelete47. Bear Bryant and Nick Saban.
ReplyDelete238. Having a decent Sportatorium blog to read again.
ReplyDeleteThanks RW and have a nice 4th
- Storm_71
Nice well thought out list
ReplyDelete239. Cheerleaders
ReplyDelete240. Wrestling-WWF
241. OJ Simpson
242. 42
243. Michael Phelps
Great job on this one! Happy 4th
Thanks Ritchie for all of the Boston references. Been here in north TX for 10 months now.
ReplyDeleteYou Had me right up to Christian Laettner, he sucks always will same as every other Duke player ever.
ReplyDelete