Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End
*Disneyland coming to Texas has been a rumor longer than the one about that giant swarm of killer bees migrating to the Metroplex. And with the Cowboys planting roots in Frisco, the urban legend has been re-booted. Or is fake after all? I'm told by some astute real-estate folks that Disney is again sniffing around the land along Dallas Parkway all the way up near 380. I was at that intersection yesterday and it'd be the perfect spot. And to piggyback America's theme park with the headquarters of America's Team ... maybe it's too good to be true.
*Those people bouncing into the office today, passing out free donuts and high-fives? They have Peyton Manning on their Fantasy Football teams. Seven touchdown passes, 0 interceptions in Denver's season-opening romp over the defending Ravens Thursday night. No Cowboys' quarterback has ever thrown seven. Or six. A bunch have had five-touchdown games including Eddie LeBaron, Don Meredith, Craig Morton, Danny White, Troy Aikman and Tony Romo. Nope, Roger Staubach never threw more than four.
*After losing two of three to the A's, the Rangers' lead in the AL West has gone the way of Lamar Odom's value - poof. And it only gets tougher. After going a month with games against losing teams, Texas plays opponents with +.500 records 13 consecutive games starting with the Pirates on Monday. Oakland, meanwhile, has only three games left against a winning team, and that's when it visits Arlington next weekend.
*Of course, a year ago today we thought the Rangers were in great shape. On Sept. 6, 2012,
they led the A's by 5.5 games before ... well, you know the rest.
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Johnny Goofball is on the cover of TIME magazine this week under a headline that screams for universities to start paying its athletes. (But, wait, if he didn't take any money for signing autographs why is this idea being brought up again? Wink.) Can't tell you what a horrible idea this is. Athletes are already paid. Their paychecks are called scholarships. Now, take away their free housing, books and classes and we'll talk. But paying athletes will reduce their motivation of going to class. And even if it's legal to pay players, you don't think some schools are going to break those rules and push those limits? Paying players will create more problems than it will solve.
*I can be a fun man. But I am not a smart man. The latter was on full display last weekend at a pool party in which I thought it would be a good idea to do shots of tequila while getting zapped by a dog's shock collar, then capping it off with a game of beer pong substituting Crown Royal Black. I'm just now recovered.
*We all know the Giants are 4-0 in Arlington. But if the Cowboys are to start 1-0 Sunday Night at AT&T Stadium they'll have to buck another long-term trend. In the last 14 years they've started a season with a win at home just once ... in '07 against the Giants.
*There are only four receivers in NFL history with at least 200 catches, 2,500 yards and 25 touchdowns in their first three seasons: Jerry Rice. Randy Moss. Andre Rison. And ... yep, Dez Bryant.
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*President Obama says he didn't draw a red line, the world did. Then, um, why isn't "the world" helping us police the violence in Syria? The answer is because no other country has the audacity to tell another country what is and what isn't an acceptable form of killing its own people.
America has as many gun deaths as the rest of the world combined. And, oopsy, we launched a couple drone strikes on civilians. But poison gas,
that we won't stand for!
*I know Yu Darvish doesn't get a lot of run support, but this is why he won't win AL Cy Young: He's coughed up late-inning, two-run leads in six of his 27 starts, and against the A's he's 0-3 with a 5.29 ERA.
*The impressive debut of Florida State freshman quarterback "Famous" Jameis Winston came with lots of local plot lines. The Rangers drafted the kid last year in the 15th round. And Mack Brown missed out on him. Joining Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III and Johnny Manziel, Winston wanted to be a Longhorn but was never offered a chance to play quarterback in Austin. Says Famous Jameis, "If I'd gotten an offer from Texas I'd be going to Texas right now." Hook 'em?
*Ya know, for such a prolific receiver - five 110+ catch seasons in the last six years - Wes Welker doesn't have great hands. He dropped a pass and a punt last night. And we all remember his critical drop of a Tom Brady pass in Super Bowl 46.
*Sounds crazy, but give me Tony Romo over Joe Flacco. The Super Bowl MVP doesn't create positive plays with his legs and he's just not that accurate with his arm. Obviously Romo authors more negative plays with his mind, but I think the Cowboys would be a 5-11 team with Flacco instead of 8-8 with No. 9.
*I know it's blasphemy to criticize Mariano Rivera. But the Yankees' closer who gets standing ovations in opponents' parks is suddenly having a crappy farewell tour. He suffered his sixth blown save of the season last night in a loss to the Red Sox. By comparison, Rangers' closer Joe Nathan has blown only two, going 38 of 40.
*Of the Cowboys' final 53-man roster, only 23 are draft choices. I don't have the facts to back this up, but that's gotta be ridiculously low. Right?
*Is there anything more automatic and boring than the kickoff at Mile High Stadium? There were 14 of 'em Thursday night, resulting in 14 touchbacks.
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*I like electronica music. I like dance music. One of my favorite satellite radio stations is Electric Area (XM 52). But, sorry, I do not get the fascination with Daft Punk. Saw them on MTV's
Video Music Awards last week and they're just two dudes dressed up as robots, who presented an award without saying a single word. And their music is just ... irritating. Their latest hit (a collaboration with something called Panda Bear) is "Doin' It Right" and - I swear - the start of the song just repeats the same simpleton, shallow line 26 times via computerized, digitized voices. I thought "
Around The World" was mindless, until I heard "
Everybody will be dancing ... and be doin' it right." Over. And over. And over again. And over some more.
*In case you missed our monthly radio ratings report, it's
right here. Fan fans, hide your eyes. It ain't pretty.
*From the Dept. of "It Pays to Be Smokin' Hot":
A woman kidnapped in downtown Dallas was rescued in Kauffman. How? Two teens ogling her at a stoplight saw her mouth "Help me" and called 911. Very cool. Now go put on some makeup! Ya know, just in case.
*I'm by no means a good swimmer, but I'm also not that impressed with 64-year-old Diana Nyad's swim from Cuba to Florida on her fifth attempt over 35 years. I guess it was like Roy McAvoy's shot over the water in
Tin Cup. Cool, but severely diluted because it took so many tries. Perfection > Perseverance.
*Asked on The Ticket Thursday morning about his Cowboys' prediction, Troy Aikman said they could win "ten" games. Awesome! Or "six" games. Awful! Wait, what the what?! Love Aikman, but I don't quite understand his appeal on TV. His opinions are too "I kinda sorta think" watered-down and his takes are too often fence-riding. Like that one. It's cheap to predict 10-6, or 6-10. Of course, that way he's never wrong. Whether the Cowboys make the playoffs or not, he saw it coming.
*Next time you start your tired old rant about "that greedy bastard Jerry Jones has priced us common folks out of going to games ...", just stop.
The Cowboys do not have the most expensive tickets in the NFL. And, really, it's not even close. Bears' fans are paying an average of $172 more per ticket than you. Pretty sure AT&T Stadium's $75 parking is among the most expensive though.
*I really missed Jon Stewart and his
Daily Show over the summer.
*Cowboys are 1-8 in their last nine games on NBC's
Sunday Night Football. DeMarcus Ware will be one of the 13 NFL players you see in NBC's open. And, remember, Faith Hill has been replaced by
Carrie Underwood. Happy slobbering.
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*If you're not busy Saturday night - or if you simply like hot women, free pizza and cool T-Shirts - it's this here blog's
official Launch Party at Baby Dolls Dallas. Be there or be square.
*Not surprised that Andy Murray lost in the U.S. Open quarterfinals. I know he's the defending champion in New York and at Wimbledon, but the guy doesn't have a singular weapon. Worse, he has the worst body language of any champion I've ever seen. Sorry,
Monday Night Football, but I'll be glued to the expected Nadal-Djokovich prime-time final over Eagles-Redskins.
*America is officially dumb. We're spending our time watching
Duck Dynasty and playing some iPhone game called Candy Crush. (Number of minutes I've spent doing either: 0.) If it's not bad enough that the reality show about bearded billionaires was cable TV's most-watched show again last week, then how about the fact that Candy Crush is making $850,000 ...
per day!
*Good news this morning:
Dallas police have arrested 29-year-old Alan Mason of Dallas in connection with the serial rapes of nine women in the Fair Park area.
*My new NBC 5 TV buddy Pat Doney has a great, exclusive feature on a Cowboys' assistant coach who has overcome serious health problems. It's worth staying up for after the game Sunday night.
*Hey you, the jerk. It is
not cool to be in a single line of cars all merging left because of a sign that says "Right Lane Closed Ahead. Merge Left", but instead jump out to right, pass about 20 cars and then put on your left signal and "pretend" to have somehow not known the lane was ending. You'll pass 20 cars. But you're daring karma. And you're a jerk.
*If you , like me, think the only thing better than the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders in bikinis, you probably want to tune in to the Season 8 premiere of
CMT's Making the Team.
*Toldja Tim Tebow would be cut by the Patriots. Seriously, can we finally stop adoring him as God's special messenger/anointed leader? He's just a good guy and a great college football player, who had one of the luckiest month-long runs of any quarterback in NFL history. His 15 minutes are up. To all the folks like Bill Simmons and R.J. Choppy who incessantly Tweeted "Teeeeeeeboooooooowwwwww!" as he'd "lead" the Broncos to another 9-6 win back in 2011, how's this taste? "Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttttt!"
*This weekend: Tomorrow morning is tennis, followed Saturday night by our Launch Party. And the next day, of course, we kick-off 22 consecutive Sundays of NFL, capped by Sunday night's Cowboys-Giants. Don't be a stranger.
So you criticize Aikman for being on the fence about the Cowboys but you don't even make a Cowboys/NFL prediction? Or if you did I missed it.
ReplyDelete9-7. Wilcard. Thanks.
Delete*****Wildcard*****
DeleteManning is just unbelievable and the most efficient and prepared QB I've ever watched. However if his career ends with just one ring, it would somehow seem incomplete. I really hope he gets one more unless of course he's facing Dallas, which is a pipe dream anyway.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on the Romo/Flacco comparison. Not taking anything away from Joe's performance last season, but he did it with a high pressure playmaking defense....which produces turnovers, more offensive possessions, short fields and fewer points for the opposition....great pass protection giving him time to read the defense and deliver the football, and a top-notch running game, three things incidentally that Romo has never had. The Romo haters refuse to understand it takes a team and performance at a high level in, as Garrett says, all phases, and not just one guy, albeit an important piece of the puzzle.
And not being too much younger than you, Richie, I don't know whether to call you a stud or an idiot or give you a high five or tell you to get Betty on the horn after your tequila/Crown Black performance. That hurts just reading about it.
And Syria is a travesty and really a puzzle that shouldn't be solved by us. I hate to see the senseless slaughter of people by tyrants, but the problem is the side we'd be supporting isn't any better, in fact may be worse. I seem to be starting to become more and more of an isolationist when it comes to these issues. Take care of our own, protects ourselves, and let those in other parts of the world continue to kill each other off which is what they seem bent on doing. And the reference to gun deaths in the US is apples and oranges. It's not as if the government is gunning down civilians in our streets and neighborhoods.....at least not yet.
-JC
I thought you didn't listen to the Ticket, Richard? Lies!
ReplyDeleteDon't listen. Read it on NBC 5's Blue Star Blog.
DeleteNowhere in the story does it say that he said that on the Ticket, so you do indeed listen.
DeleteYou are right, RW, America is dumb. When a middle-aged man is taking tequila shots and getting zapped (willingly) by an electronic dog-collar, only to follow it up with beer pong. . . . . be a part of the solution, not the problem. Else, why make the comment?
ReplyDelete+1
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Delete+infinity to the infinity power. boom, beat that!
DeleteWhat the what?! I'm taking my ball and going home.
DeleteRichie, I think the link to the radio ratings isn't working...?
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Fixed. My bad.
DeleteSo you're criticizing people for playing a dumb game like candy crush. And beer pong w/crown is the choice of Mensa members nationwide I assume?
ReplyDeletePot, kettle?
Absolutely. I'm part of America ain't I?
DeleteRW...enjoy your writing, but for a guy your age you seem to spend a large amount of your time in some sort of impaired state. Ever thought that you might have a serious drinking problem? The alcoholics are usually the last to know.
ReplyDeleteLol. Seriously, I get drunk about once every 3 months. Just when it happens I tend to write about it so it seems more often. Thanks for the concern, but I often go two weeks without any alcohol at all.
Delete"I often go two weeks without any alcohol at all"...not according to this blog. Hardly a week goes by without some post about your adventures involving libations.
DeleteGood stuff, RW. Please fix the radio ratings link. Also, you'd be better served not bragging about your drinking exploits....you're making it way too easy to compare you to your former partner.
ReplyDelete-joe
Feel free to start that comparison the second I lose a gig - or anything really - due to drinking.
DeleteFootball players aren't the only ones that get full rides. Propeller heads get them too and they can work in the lab doing worker bee stuff and get paid minimum wage and nobody cares. Pay a sports person some pittance to hand out basketballs at the gym and the world is going into meltdown. Don't get it.
ReplyDeleteTennis. Still boring. You and Corby are the only sports talker/writers I know that give a rat's ass about that sport. Thankfully it is over soon. You two can ignore hockey very shortly.
Tebow and VY fans are both delusional. Neither player did what was necessary to stay in the NFL. VY refused to grow up and Tebow refused to think of himself as anything but a QB. So long, been nice to know ya. Btw, I am a dyed in the wool Orangeblood.
Shock collars are not fun. Ask intern Carlos.
I don't think Mack is going away any time soon. Or DeLoss. Much to my chagrin. Better than what we had before he got there, but it is past time to move along.
Starting to wonder if Yu has the mindset for MLB. I am convinced that Ogando does not, at least not as a starter. They can tell me his shoulder is hurt, but I ain't buying it. It is between his ears.
So Troy is giving himself the out of being right no matter how poorly or great the Cows perform? Just like ninety percent of talking heads on my sportsy listening watching? He's all growned up now. Sniff.
I do not watch openings of pro football games. Ever. Get to the game already. If I want to see titties they are two clicks away. The only female voice I want in my ears during a game, any game, is one asking me if I want a refill on beer or another bratwurst. Otherwise shut the hell up if it isn't a commercial. That includes you sideline reporter female. Title IX yada yada, whatever, I have a daughter, a mom, a sister, nieces and a girlfriend and I don't want them jabbering at me either. I have been known to throw money at them and say "Go away, stay gone at least 4 hours." Sexist? I DO NOT CARE.
Duck Dynasty is popular? So was American Idol. Didn't watch it either. Ignore it long enough and eventually it goes away.
and on a positive note after all that very ranty old man screed.
Glad to see the rebirth of Friday Whitt offerings. Missed them.
I enjoy your blog very much, Richie, read it every day. Also liked RAGE. But :) I do find it amusing you are too smart to watch Duck Dynasty or play Candy Crush but will drink tequila shots while wearing a dog collar. Interesting.....
ReplyDeleteSo that means both Jerry Jones, and the Chicago Bears have priced the common man out of games. What's your point?
ReplyDelete