WHITT'S END: 12.1.17

   Whether you're at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt's end:

   *From the Dept. of Too-Little-Too-Late, the Cowboys last night were ... lucky to be playing the hapless Redskins. Washington committed four turnovers, Dez Bryant crawled out of his grave and even a flimsy rookie draft class looked like Pro Bowl players in a 38-14 victory. Ryan Switzer, Taco Charlton and Chidobe Awuzie all produced positive plays. One win won't turn around a season, but it will temporarily warp expectations. With the awful Giants and reeling Raiders next on the schedule and then Zeke Elliott comes back and if they can only ... Stop it. No. Even 10-6 doesn't guarantee a Wild Card berth in this year's NFC, but it is a guarantee that the Cowboys won't win out.

   *Dez may have lost a step in speed, but his leaping touchdown catch proved he hasn't lost an inch on his vertical.

   *It was only 10 months ago that national NBA pundits were applauding the Mavs for "stealing" center Nerlens Noel from the Sixers in a trade for Justin Anderson, Andrew Bogut and a first-round pick. Noel, the 6th overall pick in '13, is young and wiry and athletic. He was acquired to both protect the rim defensively and attack it on offense, giving Dallas an aggressive alley-oop option it hasn't had since forever. Noel produced 16 points and 11 rebounds in the season opener. Now? Buried deep in Rick Carlisle's doghouse. Noel, who turned down a $70 million contract offer in the offseason, didn't play in Wednesday's loss to the Nets. That's right, the Mavs' center of the future is now behind Maximilian Kleber, Salah Mejri and Jeff Withey in the rotation. This season is officially all about saying goodbye to Dirk Nowitzki, hello to Dennis Smith Jr., and somehow salvaging Noel.

   *The Mavericks will make the postseason in 2018. My Mavericks, that is. UTA has two legit stars in Erick Neal and Kevin Hervey and will punch its own ticket March Madness.

   *These days I'm semi-retired and - I'll admit - getting real bored, real quick. I mean, I can only play so much golf and tennis. I'm ghostwriting a book. I'm a Senior Consultant at On-Air Media, helping companies launch podcasts with our old radio friend Jagger. But if you have something sorta interesting, then sorta let me know.

   *After a horrible three games and an ugly first quarter, No. 4 suddenly found his Dakuracy.

   *Why Whitt's End now? I dunno (see above?). Maybe it's only because Mike Fisher drew me a fancy logo. Is it back for good, on a regular basis? Probably not. Have I missed writing it? Um, ask me again after about 20 bullet points.

   *If you're wondering about Wally Lynn and missed my update, it's right here. Be warned, though, it may not be the Christmas-spirit pick-me-up you're looking for.

   *Hang in there DFW sports fans, this nightmare year only has one month left. What did the StarsRangersMavsCowboys bring us in 2017? How about a combined record of 151-177 and one - count 'em, 1 - playoff game. And, boy, was it a doozy. On January 15th the Cowboys fell behind 21-3 to the Packers, rallied, but eventually lost 34-31 when Green Bay nailed field goals of 56 and 51 yards in the final 1:33. Otherwise ... hurry 2018.

   *Some days you're on top of the world. Some days you can't open your car door without a bloody incident.

   *To get an idea of where America is and where it's headed, watch the movie Idiocracy. I know, it's horrible. But also telling. We've forgotten how to reason, while perfecting the art of reaction. Rational decisions have replaced by blind tribal loyalty. And where does the decline start? Lack of reading. With Twitter and Facebook and audio books and Netflix and satellite radio and ... everything, our society has simply run out of time to have time. Our attention spans have shrunk as our options have expanded. The 24-hour news cycle has deteriorated into 24 seconds. Where once writers had a couple paragraphs to hook readers, now they have a couple of characters. I still love long-form, in-depth writing. But I also realize that literary foreplay is about as trendy as head lice. Reading is learning. And learning helps us reason, not merely react. Do it. For the good of our future. Otherwise, we'll someday elect a President that doesn't know the nuance between your and you're. Wait ... oops.

   *Hot.

   *Not.

   *It is Dec. 1. The Cowboys+Mavs have 11 wins. The Eagles+Sixers have 22.

   *I'm all for equality for females and it's justice that all these women are now coming forward with their tales of being sexually harassed. I hope it is indeed a tipping point, and that the women with momentum help the men in charge to re-draw the lines of acceptable, civil behavior. The bottom line will be less unwanted touching and decreased penis flashes. But - you knew that was coming didn't you? - I fear the reverse chill. The unintended consequence. The sex drives in male CEOs, politicians, Hollywood stars and lower-level employers will not decrease, but their releases will be re-directed. Don't get me wrong. It's a good thing. A great thing. But somewhere soon, if it hasn't already happened, an attractive female will be denied a promotion - or perhaps even an internship - because of her looks. Because of what will be perceived as her danger factor. Attractive females are now Kryptonite to lazy men still in power. To the men, it'll be easier to remove the temptation rather than refuse it. In other words, buy stock in companies that provide escort services. Business will soon be booming.

   *I like blondes. And curves. And fish. And calendars. But I do not want this for Christmas. Because it's weird AF.

   *My better half (Sybil Summers) is twice as good-looking as me and way more than half the writer I am. Add it all up and I win. By losing.

   *Tiger Woods shot a 3-under round. Roger Federer won two Grand Slam tournaments and is No. 2 in the world. Gregg Popovich and Tom Brady are at the top of their professions. 2017 sure looks a lot like 2007.

   *Feel like these days there's more traffic on the roads and less room for your elbows? Here's why: Every day on this planet there are 360,000 births ... and only 151,000 deaths. Every. Single. Day. Scooch a bit, will ya?

   *I babbled earlier about our shrinking free time, but is it just an excuse? If you have a typical 9-5 job you work 40 hours a week, or 2,080 hours a year. Add an hour commute and your "work" load increases to 2,340 hours annually. Sleep eight hours a night? You're up to 5,260 of committed time. Bewildering, right? But, there are 8,760 hours in a year. That leaves you 3,500 hours of totally free time per year. Sooo get to gettin'. By the way, you've wasted about six minutes reading down this far.

   *LaVar Ball deserves Donald Trump. And vice-versa. Watching them Twittfight is like watching the Eagles play the Redskins. You hope it ends in a scoreless tie with numerous injuries.

   *In six years since leaving the Big 12, Texas A&M is 25-23 in the SEC. It has had only one season with a winning conference record and has yet to play in a SEC title game, much less win a conference championship. My question is, therefore, where are all the riled-up Aggies that promised I'd eat crow for writing this?

   *We have a pussy grabber in the White House and we'll soon having a crotch grabber winning the Heisman Trophy. 2017 can't get outta here fast enough.

   *One of the paintings below cost $200 at Pier One. One was done by Sybil and hangs in our dining room. One recently sold for $46 million. Quick, tell me which is which. In a related story, we all chose the wrong profession.

                 


   *You can have one wreck and not be a bad driver. You can be momentarily reprehensible with a woman without being a predator. And you can blurt out a flippant racial comment without being a racist. It's habits and patterns, people. Not one-offs. America has totally lost the art of "context."

   *As I mentioned earlier, On-Air Media is our new media production company. Over by Love Field. 3 studios, complete with 4k cameras, state-of-the-art audio, green-screen backgrounds and A-to-Z podcasting/webcasting. If you or your company wants some attention, hit me up.

   *Recently moved from McKinney to the White Rock Lake area of Dallas. Best thing about it: Lack of traffic. You get accustomed - see: numb - to stop-and-go commutes. But once your 49-minute drive turns into a 9-minute drive, you realize how bad it sucked.

   *If the Tryptophan in your Thanksgiving turkey makes you sleepy, why don't we use turkey pills as sleeping aides? It's as though turkey is a healthy choice for a vibrant lifestyle ... every day of the year except for the third Thursday in November.

   *Similarly to how I feel about Jeff Heath and the Cowboys, I just don't think the Mavs will ever be a legit contender while giving quality playing time to Yogi Ferrell. Both are great guys and try-hard players, but ... no. Just no.

   *I'll never understand our your fascination with British royalty, in particular royal weddings. I think it's the female fantasy of An Officer and a Gentleman, on Molly.

   *Re: Artwork, Sybil's gem is on the left and the middle mishmash - "Ketchup on Canvas" - sold for almost $50 million.Without knowing the value, I wouldn't trade. You?

   *This weekend? Maybe a bike ride around the lake. Maybe put up a Christmas tree. Maybe I'll No way I'm going to pen another Whitt's End. Don't be a stranger.